Overcoming Gaslighting: 3 Strategies to Disarm the Weapon of Manipulation in a High Conflict Divorce
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used by a toxic and narcissistic ex or parent to make the victim doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. It can often occur during a difficult divorce and custody battle, especially when a former spouse is narcissistic or has an unhealthy sense of control over the other person. To successfully disarm this weapon, there are three strategies you can use.
1. Reframe the Situation: In high conflict divorces and custody battles, gaslighting is often used to confuse and manipulate the other person into believing their own narrative. A great way to counter this is to practice reframing the situation. Instead of getting angry and reacting to the gaslighter’s words, try to turn the situation around and reframe it in a more positive light. This can help you gain clarity and look at the situation from an objective perspective.
An example of how to reframe the situation is to take a negative statement from the gaslighter and make it positive. For instance, let’s say the gaslighter says, “You can’t do this on your own.” Instead of getting angry or frustrated, try to reframe it by saying, “Yes I can do this on my own! I have the support of my family and friends and I’m confident that I can handle this situation.” By reframing the statement in this way, you stay in control and put the power back in your hands.
2. Stay Assertive: Make sure to stay assertive and remain confident in your decisions. You need to be clear and firm in your communication so that the gaslighter knows you are not going to be swayed by their tactics. This can help protect you from further manipulation and put the power back in your hands.
Staying assertive and confident in your own decisions is key when trying to disarm the weapon of gaslighting by your narcissistic ex. Make sure that you communicate with the gaslighter in a clear and firm tone and don’t let them sway your opinion or decisions. Don’t be afraid to say “no” and put boundaries in place to protect yourself. Also, try to remain focused on the present moment and don’t allow the gaslighter to drag up past issues. By staying assertive and in control of the situation, you can successfully disarm the weapon of gaslighting.
3. Seek Professional Help: If you feel like the gaslighter is becoming too powerful and you aren’t sure what not to say to a narcissist as the person is manipulating you beyond your control, it’s important to seek professional help. Talking to a therapist or counselor can help give you the tools you need to fight back against the gaslighting and gain control of the situation.
By learning and implementing these strategies, you can successfully disarm the weapon of gaslighting and regain the power in your high-conflict divorce and custody battle against a narcissist.
Remember to stay strong, be assertive, and seek help when needed. With the right support and strategies, you can confidently move forward and free yourself from the psychological trap of gaslighting.
If you’re in an especially difficult situation with a narcissistic ex or parent who is a narcissist, be sure to take a look at Judge Anthony’s free masterclass, “How to Beat a Narcissist in Custody Court So You Can Finally Get Some Peace.”
